I cleaned out a bunch of the cardboard boxes that the former roommates left in the storage room. Took a bag of styrofoam out to the garbage, and a couple of boxfuls of recycling. There's still stuff in the storage room I don't know to whom it belongs, and some shoeboxes that would be handy for my own shoes.
I generally avoid sports or physical recreation, but when I find some labour to physically toil over (whether it's cleaning out stuff like today or repairing old dresser drawers with ill-suited tools like a few days ago), I still hate the sweat, yet I feel good about doing it, because it's a visible effort of struggling against
things rather than just against
other people (which comes more easily, and causes a great deal of frustration, guilt, shame, and all that sort of crap).
And just for a little while I can forget about loneliness...though I wish sometimes that there was somebody with whom I can share my feelings of accomplishment, no matter how seemingly trivial what those feelings are for. Honestly there isn't anything significant about cleaning a closet. But I feel strongly about it regardless.
Many [gifted adults] immerse themselves fully in whatever they are doing—whether it be their work, their hobbies/avocations, or their relationships with friends, family, or even acquaintances. They tend to be fully present in the moment (sometimes oblivious to time and its constraints) and to imbue each encounter with relevance and meaning. Superficiality is unfamiliar territory for them, and they tend to go in to far further depth in whatever they do or feel than others, thereby seeking and frequently finding great fulfillment even in everyday events—a sunrise, a chance encounter on a bus, a message from a friend, the laughter of children.
[...]
Most gifted adults have repeatedly felt misunderstood by others. Furthermore, they have often found themselves on a lifelong quest to understand themselves, while longing to find kindred spirits with whom they might share life's journey in meaningful ways. Some gifted individuals seem to sail through life on untroubled waters, fully enjoying the opportunities available to them, while others battle inner storms and strong seas that seem to batter them from all sides.
Sheehy (2006) described a significant portion of young adulthood as the "Trying Twenties." She suggested that this is a time when individuals are concentrating on what they feel they are "supposed to do"–i.e., according to societal norms and expectations. However, for gifted adults with high levels of intellectual and imaginational intensity, this may be further complicated in several ways. First, they are aware of all of the possibilities available to them (akin to what Toffler, 1984, called "overchoice"); second, they are concerned about what they should be doing in terms of using their gifts and talents productively for the betterment of society; and third, they desire to find one or more others with whom they can relate. As a result, these individuals wend their way through what seems to be a jungle of options, each with its own potential consequences.
–E. D. Fiedler, "Advantages and Challenges of Lifespan Intensity" in S. Daniels and M. M. Piechowski (eds.), Living with Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults (2009)
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timeasmymeasure
