rakkauden ja epätoivon laulu

A 'Write Your Own Fairy Tale' assignment for German 212 (after teacher's corrections)

Es war einmal ein Mädchen, das sehr gern Kekse und Schokolade aß. Sie aß Kekse zum Frühstück, Schokolade zum Mittagessen und mehr Kekse zum Abendessen. Weil ihre Mutter sich um die Zähne ihrer Tochter sorgte, ging sie mit ihr zum Zahnarzt.

„Du darfst nicht mehr so viel Zucker essen“, der Zahnarzt sagte dem Mädchen. „Anderenfalls werden die Bienen in deinen Mund fliegen und dich stechen.“

Das Mädchen erschrak. Sie rannte aus dem Untersuchungszimmer des Zahnarzts und erzählte ihrer Mutter, was der Zahnarzt ihr gesagt hatte.

Ihre Mutter schrie auf: „Mach dich nicht lächerlich! Das ist unmöglich!“

Das Mädchen ignorierte den Rat des Zahnarzts und aß mehr Schokolade.

Die Mutter ging noch einmal mit ihr zum Zahnarzt. „Ist das Ihr Ernst? Was für ein Rat war das? Bienen?! Alles erlogen!“ sagte sie zu dem Zahnarzt.

Der Zahnarzt verwünschte das Mädchen. Wenn sie Hunger hatte, sollten sich alle Kekse in Käse, und alle Schokolade in Kirschen verwandeln. „Jetzt geh nach Hause und iß gesünderes Essen, sonst werden die Bienen in deinen Mund fliegen und dich stechen!“

Das Mädchen war traurig, weil sie keine Kekse und Schokolade essen konnte. „Wie kann ich ohne mein Lieblingsessen leben?“ dachte sie. Später am Abend hatte sie eine gute Idee. „Ich kann mit Kirschen und Käse Käsekuchen backen!“ Die ganze nächten Woche aß sie Käsekuchen zum Frühstück, Mittag und Abendessen. Ihre Mutter ging nochmals mit ihr zum Zahnarzt.

Der Zahnarzt änderte den Fluch. Wenn sie Hunger hatte, sollten sich ab jetzt alle Kekse in Käse, alle Schokolade in Kirschen, alle Käse in Tofu und alle Kirschen in Falafel verwandeln. „Jetzt geh nach Hause und iß gesünderes, vegetarisches Essen, sonst werden die Bienen in deinen Mund fliegen und dich stechen!“

Das Mädchen machte eine leckere Nachspeise mit Tofu und Honig. „Niemand kann mir mein süßes Essen wegnehmen!“

Dann flog ein Bienenschwarm durch das Fenster und ins Gesicht des Mädchens! Die Bienen stachen das Mädchen, das dann starb. Und wenn die Mutter nicht gestorben ist, dann lebt sie noch heute.

Friend: im sipping gin out of a pharaceutical pill container ... isn't that.. sad
Me: wtf

On the way back from lunch we almost drove over this bucket, which was literally in the middle of the road. The first thing I thought of when I saw it was "LOLCAT". When I went to take a picture of it, a truck drove by and knocked it closer to the curb, which made it perfect for this picture.

From going into the backyard this morning, I have two giant side-by-side bug bites on my arm right where I normally wear my watch. They are big and puffy, but don't itch terribly much. So now I'm wearing my watch on my right arm instead of my left.

So my opthalmologist/eye-doctor-person decided to put fluorescence stuff in my eyes so she could see if my eyes were being thoroughly wetted by my tears. For a very brief moment my entire world looked orange-yellow. Only when I got it washed out of my eyes did I realize it was like freaking yellow highlighter in my eyes!! Aaah!! In other news, I get new glasses next week, though my prescription hasn't actually changed all that much. It's just that I've had my current pair for 5 years and they're getting kind of old, even though I can still see perfectly well with them...well, not perfectly - without lenses I see worse with my left eye, but *with* lenses on my right eye isn't as good as my left.

Edit: I has iHousing next year.
Edit 2: They now itch. A lot. The bites basically wrap halfway around my arm.

(I meant on my CD player. I obviously put other stuff on when I'm listening to music from my computer.)

I've got the hives all over my body and they're itching like hell, I swear they're spreading, getting bigger, I don't know why, I don't know how, I just realized I had tons of puffy itchy blotches like fresh bug bites all over my limbs when I got to my lab today (shortly after I woke up) and it's not like I've eaten anything unusual lately.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH THEY'RE GROWING!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG !!!!

They're concentrated along the backs of my arms, around the armpit, down my sides (TONS here), and wrapping toward my belly button on my front. There were some on my knees and elbows and thighs earlier today, but those are mostly gone now except for a few isolated spots. The ones down my sides are growing, the ones near my armpits are HUGE, like paint splotters. There were a few around my neck and on my face earlier as well.


Quote from chat logs with sister:

Viv: Maybe you should lay a towel over your sheets tonight just incase that's what's causing it.
Tuuli Mustasydän: ok
Viv: And then hire a slave to go buy you some benedryl tomorrow.
Tuuli Mustasydän: scott?
Tuuli Mustasydän: well i'm sure i can make it to the bookstore pharmacy
Viv: slave, scott, what's the difference?

mintos: hey Scott
Forgottenlord: hey
Forgottenlord: my computer is dead :(
mintos: why?
Forgottenlord: um....I think something's blown
Forgottenlord: a part of me suspects monitory, but I don't have the equipment to check
Forgottenlord: (though I'm pretty sure a fan is blown as well)
mintos: no worries you'll figure it out
mintos: well stop having sex on your computer then
[...]
Forgottenlord: (mutters coldly at kyrasantae's language settings)
[...]
mintos: ?
mintos: what's wrong with kyrasantae's language settings?
Forgottenlord: it can change to a Chinese keyboard and I haven't figured out how I trigger it
Forgottenlord: I just keep doing that
mintos: it's because of the sex
mintos: :p
mintos: multiple keys pressed at once
mintos: how much am I pissing off kyrasantae right now?
Forgottenlord: kyrasantae's laughing her ass off right now
Forgottenlord: I wish I was getting that sort of action, but she's just getting humored..... :P
Forgottenlord: (though my comment earned me a few punches)
mintos: well you know mental pleasure from her satisfaction
mintos: so you'll just have to live with that
Forgottenlord: (she's using your quote as quote of the day)
mintos: which quote?
Forgottenlord: the two sex quotes
Forgottenlord: (she's using both...)
mintos: well you know technology is getting integrated further and further into everyday life
mintos: at least your computer isn't vibrating
mintos: because that would be something