rakkauden ja epätoivon laulu

Week 8
Day 14
My buddy David was doing his presentation today so I made it a point to have read the reading (the full 50 pages, even though he was only presenting on the first half of it, and someone else the second half) and be at class on time. But before he began, the teacher wanted to make some announcements.

That's right, announcements. She'd summarized the student feedback onto a couple of slides. First, the slide of things people liked. People liked having the variety of assessments (reflective essay, research essay, presentation, exam), having relevant discussions, having videos, etc. etc. Of course people will write down stuff if asked to comment on something good.

Next was a list of things that she was going to change. People wanted a bit more structured lecture, focusing on key terms and ideas on which we're to be tested. I agree that the lecturing should be more structured, but I don't necessarily agree that we need more of it. But then again, some people prefer that, in order that the course has some kind of continuity and organization.

So, in order to get up to speed on focusing on key terms and concepts, we're going to have a review period next class where, uh, yeah, she'll review the key terms and concepts so far. Presentations scheduled for next class are postponed. And from now on the lectures will focus on that kind of stuff, and she'll post the slides online.

A lot of comments were on time management. Some students felt that discussions sometimes kind of get sidetracked, and then go on for too long. To fix this, presentations are now going to be 15 minutes per person, and the remaining time will be split evenly between lecture and discussion. (Reminder: this is an 80-minute class.)

For those who haven't done their presentations yet, that's great. I, for one, am happy about that. But for those who have already done it, it seems a bit unfair that they had to do more.

Lastly, people complained that there was too much reading. (YES!!!) So now the only mandatory readings are the ones marked "Assigned Reading" on the syllabus. Let's recall that this is what led to the whole annoyingness over my presentation date/topic anyway. It also means that I can do a longer recap of my presentation reading because I can no longer assume that the class has read it (this is kind of good and bad, I guess).

Now it's time for David's presentation. It was exactly the kind of presentation that catches people's attention and keeps it, and treats us as people who can read and have read the required reading. He had a catchy opener and kept the slides as a visual aid rather than pages of text. He spent very little time on the reading itself but used analogies and examples to illustrate. He is (was?) a practicing engineer so he's had experience doing presentations both during his studies (yes, engineers have a presentation skills class) and probably his work.

The teacher steals the stage back after David is done. She wants to do her lecture, to 'recap' his presentation. This lecture opens with a few questions, which we're to discuss in small groups and then she'll "give [us] the answers." These are definition questions, for example "what is gender segmentation?". Argh, this isn't discussion, it's like exam review. A few minutes later, she gives us the answers, assuring us that the slides will be put online. The only unfortunate side effect of this is that we run out of time for the second student presentation and we're dismissed five minutes early.

Laying out a noble plan, but not even being able to pull it off. Maybe if she'd accounted for the 15 minutes about the student feedback she might have made it.

David's notes and slides were posted in the afternoon, since he'd passed them to her the night before. But the teacher's slides? Oh yes, they were posted, but on Wednesday afternoon. Does it really take her that long to remove her script from the bottom of the slides? (Yeah, she reads off a script. I noticed this when she accidentally revealed her slides outside of the full-screen presentation.)

Stuff from other classes:
* Psych prof: "I'm not wearing a costume [to class for Halloween]. I am a costume."
* Existentialism class cancelled Thursday due to Swine Flu. Essay assignment to be handed out then (obviously) postponed. This relieves my Nov. 2 load, but who knows where it'll end up.

Day 15
Something happened, and our teacher came in 10 minutes late. You are correct if you're thinking that hey, it's 10 fewer minutes for the class. It would be overboard if she didn't appear at all, since she'd sent out a reminder email last night about coming to the "review" class today.

There's a different projector machine in the room today, and our student presenter couldn't get his computer to work on it, and the teacher didn't bring hers today because she's doing the review thing. So while the student fiddles with the projector and his computer, she passes out a two-page document with the title of each of the readings so far and a selection of important words and her discussion questions for each. Evidently someone else also thought the same way as me about the discussion questions. But I remind you that they're still "study guide"-style questions and not really open-ended discussion questions, so they suit this purpose.

There's some bad subject/verb agreement in the questions, but bad grammar I can deal with. (EPIC FAIL, on the other hand, is bad English but involves much more than just bad grammar.)

"Does anyone have any questions on David's presentation or comments on his discussion questions?" she asks. David can't even remember what the questions in his presentation were.

She wanted to point out one question that we didn't get to in class about "teaching your own culture" and then I said something about bi-/poly-cultural people and she construed it into something about cultures being mutable and that no one can truly represent any culture and that wasn't what I said at all because I was talking about people with divided cultural identities. But at least she acknowledged what I was saying.

And that "for those of you who want to teach in international school, there are so many people from all over the world that you have to find a way to address the diversity." In my opinion, there's one thing that is common to almost all international students: they're upper (or diplomat) class. The equalizing power of their social class and the culture associated with it (affecting the selection of an appropriate teaching style/set of values), I think, probably overpowers the divisive power of their diverse ethnic backgrounds.

The student did his presentation just orally without the visual slides that he had prepared. It was okay though, because it forced me to listen to what he was saying.

For some unknown reason, discussion on reproduction of lower socio-economic classes went back to talking about school dropouts and why people drop out of school rather than, say, why people choose trade school. They're equally valid examples to illustrate whatever point. It just seems kind of weird. Not because of the student, but because of the teacher. She keeps bringing up dropouts.

Later she reveals that she has a brother, a successful businessman. Wait, what? What Chinese businessman isn't "successful"? I wouldn't be surprised that her family just happens to know the right people to pay off to be allowed to have two children, and to let her get two masters degrees and come to Canada to do a Ph.D.

Anyway, in the last 20 or so minutes of the class, she splits us into groups to look at some of the questions on the study guide. We run out of time to "share" the "answers" with the rest of the class and only get one group's "answers" "shared," so for the rest of the term she wants us to "share" one group's "answers" at the beginning of class, going down the page. This incremental review idea is the most confusing and not very well-conceived thing I've heard of.

Outlook: not good.

Mispronunciations of the day:
* "dah-VID"
* "ig-NOR-ence"
* the "in-TER-per-EH-tive analysis" one still bugs me a lot.

Week 5
Day 8
That stupid TV by the door...

Student presenter was here way before class. By the time our instructor walked in the door, she had her Powerpoint slides open and ready to go. Today's class is on Aboriginal segregation as implemented in the residential school system.

Instructor wants to show two videos and have a discussion. At least she's got the idea to have discussion at the end.

The presentation was nice because the student didn't read from the Powerpoint but off a separate and longer set of notes, which is what was later posted on Blackboard.

After the presentation, the instructor said that she was going to skip the first video she wanted to show because it would have been the same thing as some of the stuff in the presentation. I secretly wonder if it's because she realizes that we don't have enough time for it. She pops the tape for the second video into the VCR, turns on the TV, and then realizes that she needs to rewind it and cue it up.

She orally dictates two of the planned discussion questions, which were really straightforward and factual and were entirely answered in the student presentation. When she finally has the movie cued up for the clips she wants to show, we sit there and watch bits of it. (Typical Canadian production - the artistic direction is ... blah and the dialogue is really really transparent.) After that she runs through some slides on some other kinds of racial segregation in the school systems of early Canada and then has a couple more discussion questions with the aim of having us "make connections" between these and the Aboriginal schools.

But this second set of questions came at 9:20. "We're out of time so we'll discuss these questions next class."

Is anyone reading this surprised at all? I'm not.

Awkward pronunciations of the day:
* "a-simm'-LAY-shun"
* "preh-d'KAY.TUD."

Day 9
I came in just as the instructional resource people wheeled in the projector and the TV.

One classmate gets followed to the classroom by the cashier from the cafeteria, hounding him for paying short five cents. He gives the cashier a dime, but she threatens to call Campus Security on him anyway. Apparently this cashier had given my classmate a mean look when he used a bagel from home in the cafeteria toaster last week. Or maybe it was hot water for his own tea bag or something.

We started off with a little bit of wrap-up discussion on the movie clips from last class. It was pointed out that the discussion questions were posted on Blackboard (and that, as I've already noted, a bunch of the lecture outlines were also there), but no one admitted that they'd checked for them.

Today's presenters were really great. They brought in a box of Girl Guide cookies. The presentation was on the structure of Canadian schooling but they chose to focus on and illustrate different types of alternative public school programs in Edmonton. We then had a really great debate and discussion about the idea of ethnocentric alternative programs.

The instructor did a quick survey of our experiences with alternative programs, and then read a timeline of the history of these programs in Edmonton off of her computer, since she had some trouble connecting her computer up to the projector. She finishes this little lecture at 9:15 and she wants to show a video on charter schools in Calgary. She wants to take a vote on whether to start the video today or wait until next week. "Let's just put it on," we agree.

Naturally, we only get about three minutes in, but she's determined to show the rest of it next class. Heck, I'm determined that we see the rest of the video. It's about Calgary schools and I'm getting just a bit homesick here.

Instead of pitching myself out the door to get to my next class (as I normally do), I spotted the remainder of the box of cookies lying on a desk and tried to find someone to take it home. Nobody wanted it, but in that little moment of pause, my instructor caught up to me and asked me if I had a moment. I could spare a couple of minutes, I said.

She asked me what I thought of the class. I said that I really enjoyed today's class because there was a lot of productive discussion and not just questions like "What are the three types of _______?" She says that she does those (and the outlines on Blackboard) because some people like to have pointed out for them the important points to study for an exam. (I disagree with this, but I may address it in an email to her at another time.) I said that if, as she says, coming to class is about participating in the discussions, then there needs to be more discussions like today's student presentation discussion.

She said she was willing to have a second presentation on the reading that I originally wanted (see Day 3), and I said thanks but no thanks, because I ended up with the reading that I actually wanted (my 'second choice' was actually my first choice, but it didn't say "assigned reading" next to it on the syllabus so I had assumed that she didn't want a presentation on it).

Mispronunciations of the day:
* "PARE-ental"
* "pro-GRAMS"

Next week:
* Can she pull off my suggestion for more substantive class discussions?
* Will she say anything more about the reflection paper due in two weeks? It's kind of about time she said something about it.

[first posted at BGG's off-topic forums.]

So I just started my B.Ed, and I'm in a third-year sociology of education class (which operates under the Department of Educational Policy Studies) this semester. I find that I'm actually learning the most in this class... about how not to teach.

It's my first class in the morning (8AM), twice a week, and so much about the pedagogy in this class annoys me that I can feel my blood boiling by the time the 80-minute period is over, which rather ruins the rest of my day. Now, sociology was my minor in my previous degree, and it's not like I'm forced to take this course, but it really is the teaching that's ruining the material for me.

( THIS IS EPIC RANT!!! )

SHE thought it was pay day, so SHE came in right on time. But it's not. Pay day is technically the last day of the month - which is Sunday - so we get paid on Monday. SHE quickly got caught up with what we're doing.

Most of the missing parts from yesterday showed up today.

The guys were working in a different area, so it was just me and HER in my space. Which actually wasn't so bad, because she managed to talk about other things and I managed to give her some tips on how to build some of the stuff and how we had organized it.

But...

My right hand and wrist and arm are in total agony, even with my brace on. Even using the electric drill doesn't help since just putting weight on my wrist makes it hurt really really bad - and even drilling requires applying pressure to push the screw into the wood. SHE has tendinitis so at least SHE could sympathize.

I sit on the floor working on my lap when I can, like a little child playing with Duplo pieces. I thought of life and fragility, and whether I should just quit this. SRSLY.

Pushing myself towards entirely losing the use of my hands for $12 an hour isn't sisu, it's stubbornness. And it's totally not worth it.

Fortunately my boss came in today and he said he'd look into some modified duties for me, like taking out garbage, instead of building. I told him that I really wanted to stay with this job, but I just can't do this building stuff and heavy lifting anymore.

(As much as I'd like to be at home during the day so I can communicate with my Finnish friends, it'd be incredibly hard for me to call home to say that I quit my job. I don't want to be seen as that kind of quitter. Also this is an odd time to try to find summer jobs because I'll end up being stuck with high school kids. Ugh.)

I suggested also doing merchandising and assembling racking. Despite racking pieces being quite heavy, they can generally be carried around in carts. I just hope he doesn't have me clean up the racking storage area. That would suck, because racking pieces in bulk become really heavy.

(19:19:43) kyrasantae: karaoke last night was epic fail
(19:20:09) kyrasantae: i keep picking songs that are too fast and since i don't *actually* know the lyrics, i stumble because i can't "read" fast enough
(19:20:42) kyrasantae: not to mention the place didn't have a large selection of finnish songs like wankery..uh, i mean wankkuri does

I finally bought one of the clear plastic hard cases for my iPod Nano, so I could enact what I've wanted to do for customizing my iPod ever since I got it.

Old iPod skin ("Blood Flower" from Gizmobies). They claim to be reusable but I'm not convinced; fortunately I also have one of the "Fleur-de-lis" design.	New iPod skin and case. Skin is custom-printed from myTego - those iCoke.ca points aren't totally useless after all :)

Completely not in light of the silly idea to ban tiny zip-lock bags in Chicago just because drug dealers use them, I went to the crafts store and bought 100 each of 2"x3" and 3"x4" baggies. This is a LOT of baggies. This led to some very obsessive-compulsive game bit bagging.

Oddly enough, I've been sleeping quite regularly and healthily ever since DLS teased me about setting my internal clock 4.5 hours ahead, as a median between my timezone and his time zone (which, as he's nearly nocturnal, he has already done). I started out going to bed around or a little after DLS went to bed (which happens to be usually between 7 and 8PM), but the ridiculousness of it moderates itself after a bit and I'm usually in bed by 11PM now. (It is currently 11PM as I edit this post. I am aware of this.)

It almost sounds like a stupid idea, but it's working for me. In the last week I've only gone to bed past midnight once. And I was pretty dead exhausted by then, and I'm getting up in the morning more or less before or around 7AM, whether I want to or not (at first this included some ridiculous waking up at 5AM, but there's a period of adjustment). If I can keep this up somehow my parents can't yell at me about sleeping in on ... uh ... weekends every day during vacation anymore.

Consequently it is likely that this was the reason I was already feeling tired and droopy and yawning by the time I finished setting up for board game night, pushing and moving tables into the common area and stuff.

Board game night was EPIC FAIL. I set up Settlers of Catan and Ticket to Ride: Europe on a couple of tables, and I probably would have given up when no one had showed up by 7:15 (I wanted to start at 7) had Mohammed not spotted me earlier in the afternoon and told me he was coming. I had posters on every floor, and it was just me and him, sigh. Granted, a lot of people were away on the ski trip, but still. So we played a game of vanilla Carcassonne (I won) and TransEuropa (he won every round). I can't thank him enough for taking part.

I'm suffering from a terrible bout of insomnia.

On Wednesday I ranted about the band thingy; from the moment I started screaming at Shawn on Monday I knew there were going to be repercussions, so I figured I should beat them to the chase and write a note notifying them of my disinterest from that point on. But I guess they beat me to it.

For a little bit of context I'm going to try to summarize what my Monday note said (it was in numbered points). If I even remember it. These won't be in the correct order.

1. I don't have their emails
2. I ask them to download "The Diary of Jane" and learn it, and the blah blah about my having to learn 5 songs while, if this goes through, they'd only need to learn one - ONE song isn't a big deal
3. If they don't/won't/can't learn it, it's not worth my time and effort to be part of the band (giving something to them for nothing in return? no way.)
4. I'm out of the country between Christmas and New Year's Day, so don't schedule rehearsals then and pretend I didn't tell them I was away
5. Shawn mentioned the existence of an 'alternate' song list - I want to know what these songs are
6. He also mentioned that some songs were too high for them - I could fill that role
7. Next year, expect me to act in a manner to ensure that songs chosen will be more appropriate for my optimum performance
8. Heed this or lose my only opportunity to participate in Geer Week

Yeah.

I stuck my new note on the fridge today and when I got home I had an email in my inbox which was forwarded to me from Marc, one of the other guys in the office.

So they beat me to ditching them (or rather they ditched me), but I didn't know it, so I guess we came to the same conclusion independently. Which is, I suppose, nice, so to speak.

• My note, Shawn's note, and some of my notes and comments in response. I decided not to drag out the situation so I didn't actually post my response. I'm slightly amused and unsettled by the ubiquitousness of the sentiment that I should be studying something else. ;-)

Oh right, the insomnia. Ever since Monday I haven't been able to fall asleep as quickly as I normally do once I get into bed. Which is why I'm still here typing this post even though I need to be somewhere in 3.5 hours and ready to sing in about 5 hours.

• Tired and probably rather slurred babbling (22:10, 8.9MB) on a couple of points further to those from my unposted response.
• One little thing I forgot (03:07, 1.2MB).

Edited to add:
This was their song list.

• The Offspring - Pretty Fly (for a white guy)
  
• SR-71 - Right Now
  
• Nirvana - Breed
  
• Tenacious D - Fuck Her Gently
  
• Blink 182 - All the Small Things