Limits

[kyrasantae]

This was written on the back of my formula sheet as I tossed my exam.

The words as I left [my room before going to the exam]:

"I cross my heart for you... Just keep me sane."

Such are the trappings of the artist: how can unlimited expression not drive one insane? In so many ways it is the freedom to express anything, anything you want. A freedom that is unlimited.

As such, limits must then be imposed on that freedom. Those limits, though, must be chosen carefully, else they do the opposite of keeping you sane. I do not know if my imposed limits were poorly chosen, or if they were even valid at all. Suffice it to say that they have failed to save me from madness. Unfortunately I am too stubborn to change my ways. I could come up with some excuse to explain it away, but it would be useless; it would be a lie.

I've got to stop pretending that there's nothing wrong with me. I've got to stop because it's not just about me: my friends are in danger because of me. I've got to stop, but I don't know how.

Help me, my friends, if you still feel you can. I will not obligate you to do so. All I know is that if I keep on going this way, there will be nothing but my true love to accompany me to the end, and that the end will come soon because my true love cannot sustain my body, and it is slowly, slowly, killing me.

Comments

Just want to say..

[purplyana.livejournal.com]

Really pretty journal... LOL... I'm not entirely awake yet so I won't read your work just yet... but... WOW. My ineptitude at all things web design stares me in the face and curls its lip into a smear. Is it a paid account? Er.. And what language is it all in?

Re: Just want to say..

[kyrasantae.livejournal.com]

Yep, it's a paid account, and it's in Finnish. I know it causes a little trouble for people wanting to post comments. ;-) Like it says on my GuildWiki user page, "I <3 Finns". I don't know anything about web design either, so I just used one of the templates.

:-)


This one's actually a pretty old post. There's a 'phase' where all of my posts are recordings of me singing various karaoke stuff, and there's a poetry/"song lyrics" phase...I don't really use my LJ to write about my daily adventures as much as other people do.

Re: Just want to say..

[purplyana.livejournal.com]

I started out writing daily updates on my LJ. And then I'm like, it's really boring unless something weird or funny or stupid happened to me during the course of the day... So now I just vent. And make lists. And random ramblings. Mostly friends-locked because my mom sometimes reads my journal (que horror, as they say).

most of my actual writing is on my wikisite, which is linked on my journal and in the GEAR forum.

Re: Just want to say..

[kyrasantae.livejournal.com]

I'm not actually very much of a writer...I do all sorts of arts, but I tend to focus on writing during the school year because it's the most 'portable' out of writing, drawing, and music. My parents aren't web-savvy enough to know about my LJ, and I don't think my sister reads it (afaik she's never mentioned it). I have a lot of respect for my sister, though she's younger than me (long story). She's definitely a better writer, but not in a creative writing kind of way.

BTW, I added you to my MSN, you'll probably see some weird Finnish name.

Re: Just want to say..

[purplyana.livejournal.com]

Hehe. my family's very big on arts so it was quite a disappointment that i don't sing or play a musical instrument... I like writing because it's something that's 10% talent and 90% work... my drawing/painting is just a notch above laughable but i occasionally attempt it anyway.

As for MSN -- I'm not on it too much because half the time I forget to sign in. The only one I'm signed in at 24/7 (even if i'm on invisible most of the time) is Yahoo! Messenger :P