Day 1.2 Naked
May. 5th, 2009 10:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyrasantae
Shamelessly copied from email I wrote earlier, plus additions:
Utility knives with the knob that locks the blade (not like the one I used at Wal-Mart) are TOO FIDDLY for only occasional tape slitting on boxes. I am bringing my own old butterknife, which does the trick just as well.
Ugggggh work is getting kind of annoying already - it's not the actual stuff I'm doing - I like doing that - but the people I'm with. And I'm just sitting here and I don't want to do anything, I don't want to figure out how to pack everything into my cargo pants for tomorrow (for reason, read on).
I intuitively don't really trust the lockers they have there for us and I think it's because they have transparent doors; if people are going to have visual on my stuff I'd like to have it near me. And just the way my team leader talked about them today: "next time, you should put that in a locker" (because a couple of us had stowed our stuff inside the wire-frame compartment underneath our work benches. The other guy just had his jacket there, but he has the luxury of leaving the rest of his stuff in his car. I don't. I have to take it all with me: wallet, iPod, lunch, cellphone.).
We're supposed to get a storage box for our company's stuff eventually, but until then, I feel like just slogging to work in my heavy boots (instead of changing into them when I get there) and throwing my hand lotion in the fridge so I don't have to keep it in the pocket of my sweater that I don't want to be wearing while I'm working anyway but I'll do it just to spite her. Not to mention that I don't have any quarters to operate the lockers with anyway.
I feel naked without my bag in sight or trust that it is completely safe. In some places I have that trust, but in other places I don't. I don't have it here because there are so many other people around who are not part of my company. So I want to be able to keep my eyes on it.
I also feel really naked without my ring. I don't want to lose it (it slips off my finger sometimes), so I've left it in my mini closet-shrine along with my usual pendant chain. It's something that I intuitively fiddle with and like to feel that it's there, and now it's not.
At home I crave interaction because my roommates just keep to themselves in their rooms, and at work I crave solitude because I don't want to talk to people (nor have people try to tell me how to put something together). I do that kind of assembly work better when I'm left alone, so I can block out the rest of the world and immerse myself in the work (which is easy once it happens because I'm obsessive-compulsive). It's the kind of work that needs one's full attention.
At least there's supposed to be a few more people joining us in the coming weeks, which means I have more people to choose from when organizing ourselves into pairs.
But this is the sort of thing that is extra frustrating when friends are away, and the only people left to talk to are those I talk to mainly online (or Sarah on text messages)... and the majority of those are Finns, with whom I only get to chat for about 10 minutes every morning and on weekends.
This is isolation, when there's something you want to whine or vent about but nobody with immediate feedback to vent to.
Items assembled (by myself or with someone, in order, because I wrote them down):
Utility knives with the knob that locks the blade (not like the one I used at Wal-Mart) are TOO FIDDLY for only occasional tape slitting on boxes. I am bringing my own old butterknife, which does the trick just as well.
Ugggggh work is getting kind of annoying already - it's not the actual stuff I'm doing - I like doing that - but the people I'm with. And I'm just sitting here and I don't want to do anything, I don't want to figure out how to pack everything into my cargo pants for tomorrow (for reason, read on).
I intuitively don't really trust the lockers they have there for us and I think it's because they have transparent doors; if people are going to have visual on my stuff I'd like to have it near me. And just the way my team leader talked about them today: "next time, you should put that in a locker" (because a couple of us had stowed our stuff inside the wire-frame compartment underneath our work benches. The other guy just had his jacket there, but he has the luxury of leaving the rest of his stuff in his car. I don't. I have to take it all with me: wallet, iPod, lunch, cellphone.).
We're supposed to get a storage box for our company's stuff eventually, but until then, I feel like just slogging to work in my heavy boots (instead of changing into them when I get there) and throwing my hand lotion in the fridge so I don't have to keep it in the pocket of my sweater that I don't want to be wearing while I'm working anyway but I'll do it just to spite her. Not to mention that I don't have any quarters to operate the lockers with anyway.
I feel naked without my bag in sight or trust that it is completely safe. In some places I have that trust, but in other places I don't. I don't have it here because there are so many other people around who are not part of my company. So I want to be able to keep my eyes on it.
I also feel really naked without my ring. I don't want to lose it (it slips off my finger sometimes), so I've left it in my mini closet-shrine along with my usual pendant chain. It's something that I intuitively fiddle with and like to feel that it's there, and now it's not.
At home I crave interaction because my roommates just keep to themselves in their rooms, and at work I crave solitude because I don't want to talk to people (nor have people try to tell me how to put something together). I do that kind of assembly work better when I'm left alone, so I can block out the rest of the world and immerse myself in the work (which is easy once it happens because I'm obsessive-compulsive). It's the kind of work that needs one's full attention.
At least there's supposed to be a few more people joining us in the coming weeks, which means I have more people to choose from when organizing ourselves into pairs.
But this is the sort of thing that is extra frustrating when friends are away, and the only people left to talk to are those I talk to mainly online (or Sarah on text messages)... and the majority of those are Finns, with whom I only get to chat for about 10 minutes every morning and on weekends.
This is isolation, when there's something you want to whine or vent about but nobody with immediate feedback to vent to.
Items assembled (by myself or with someone, in order, because I wrote them down):
