Denial? [journal]
Jun. 20th, 2004 12:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyrasantae
Greek wine never smelled so good. Especially when one is among youngsters and doesn't have money to try it.
To all things there must be a reason -- if there is no sensible reason, then don't do it. I have no reason to ignore my palatial warnings against overconsumption, so I shall not. "Because other people do it" or anything pertaining to avoiding being perceived as cowardly is not sensible enough for me.
We all are cowards in our own ways. We all have things we are afraid to do, but we all also have risks [that] we are willing to take. I have already destroyed and rebuilt myself many times; I'm not going to do it again with an even worse addiction. But I'll do anything to make myself feel safe and regain confidence that I alone am the master of my own destiny and that no one has the power to take away my identity.
If it calms my fears without causing recklessness, I shall do it.
If it relaxes me without causing a loss of [perceptiveness], I shall do it.
If it gives me a sense of purpose without hurting myself or my friends, I shall do it.
Sometimes I think that it's already too late for denial.
To all things there must be a reason -- if there is no sensible reason, then don't do it. I have no reason to ignore my palatial warnings against overconsumption, so I shall not. "Because other people do it" or anything pertaining to avoiding being perceived as cowardly is not sensible enough for me.
We all are cowards in our own ways. We all have things we are afraid to do, but we all also have risks [that] we are willing to take. I have already destroyed and rebuilt myself many times; I'm not going to do it again with an even worse addiction. But I'll do anything to make myself feel safe and regain confidence that I alone am the master of my own destiny and that no one has the power to take away my identity.
If it calms my fears without causing recklessness, I shall do it.
If it relaxes me without causing a loss of [perceptiveness], I shall do it.
If it gives me a sense of purpose without hurting myself or my friends, I shall do it.
Sometimes I think that it's already too late for denial.
