Lost and Found
Feb. 10th, 2009 01:51 amThe last few weeks have been so full of reading, assignments that take hours and still don't get done because I need to ask my prof for tips, ideas, thoughts, memories, responsibilities, decisions, volunteering, cynicism towards student idealism, having a friend to lean on while avoiding some other people, being annoyed at people, meeting up with friends more regularly, trying not to let everything fall apart. Even the piano feels like a dirty thought. I'm really tired.
Indeed, I've been spending more and more time at the library and taking advantage of its extended opening hours so that I can slowly get school stuff done, one assignment or reading at a time. Or copying my notes for chem and math, which is something I've never been able to sustain for so long. This Reading Week will consist of mostly reading. It's not because I feel pressure (pop quizzes in one class notwithstanding) to do well (to finish with a bang?), but for some reason it just feels right.
I wonder if this is the life of the model student that people around me wanted me to strive to be since... ever but I always felt that I was too good to be. And the introspective me wants to ask "why did it take me so long? Why did it take until this final semester?" but there's really no point in asking.
...but some things don't change. I still resist retail therapy, try not to eat too much but end up eating too little, try not to eat too little but end up eating too much, faffing around on computers, listening to the same 25 songs a million times, giving up my sleep for the people I love.
Indeed, I've been spending more and more time at the library and taking advantage of its extended opening hours so that I can slowly get school stuff done, one assignment or reading at a time. Or copying my notes for chem and math, which is something I've never been able to sustain for so long. This Reading Week will consist of mostly reading. It's not because I feel pressure (pop quizzes in one class notwithstanding) to do well (to finish with a bang?), but for some reason it just feels right.
I wonder if this is the life of the model student that people around me wanted me to strive to be since... ever but I always felt that I was too good to be. And the introspective me wants to ask "why did it take me so long? Why did it take until this final semester?" but there's really no point in asking.
...but some things don't change. I still resist retail therapy, try not to eat too much but end up eating too little, try not to eat too little but end up eating too much, faffing around on computers, listening to the same 25 songs a million times, giving up my sleep for the people I love.