Presumptions (*sigh*) [journal]

I think that at first it will be a little bit difficult. To find myself suddenly with strangers, without help, in a strange land. I must learn to live with these strangers, and the most challenging aspect of that is adjusting the trickle of information about me -- I cannot let them be intimidated by me for at first they will not know enough and will not warmed enough to my presence to understand and accept my reality of the darker side and all of the philosophy that I developed because of my infinite desperation.

Desperation for what? I don't think I ever knew, or ever will know. This heavy burden on my heart still has no name.

Perhaps once they understand the pain they will understand the person behind it. But before that, I only hope that they will be willing to listen, and in the meantime hold back what I have inside me to speak. The right time will come. Then may they open their hearts to hear my story.

Quotation time.

"There's so much light here, so the shadows will be dark. Darkness is part of our being. The part that we hide in shame is always active too.
...
"Darkness is tolerated in Amsterdam. Tolerance makes evil show itself. Once our bad sides can be seen, we may learn to live with them, up to a point....When the shameful aspect is masked and repressed, we may expect considerable tension. Our evil will do everything to break out of our discipline, and then, suddenly...
...
"The pushed-down immoral desire will have to break free, and if you hold it down too long, because there's no opportunity to let it go, or you're just too busy—well, I really wouldn't know what sort of terrible explosions could possibly take place."

—Janwillem van de Wetering, The Rattle-Rat

In other news, I went to watch Garden State today. There were only about 15 or so people there. Little did Barend (DK#2) know that I was sitting next to him, or rather, he happened to seat himself next to me. Well, until I told him at the end. Even then he didn't recognize me for a moment for the lights, albeit on, were still dim :P