Pretending. [journal]
Jul. 25th, 2004 11:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyrasantaeToday the bug bites swelled to twice their size and turned all red. They were still itchy. Bought 1 halter-top, 2 blouses, and 2 pairs of pants. Got motion-sickness on the metro, fell asleep on the bus.
I don't think that we should ever try to hide our emotional reactions to things. If someone who is talking to me brings up something that makes me emotional, it's too false an impression of yourself to pretend it doesn't affect you that way. When that sort of thing comes up, I think it's too stressful to force yourself to hold it in. Why not be open about it and let them know so they won't bring it up again and cause you even more stress? Or so that they are forewarned of your reaction to such things? To live a stress-free life I think that we cannot hide undesirable emotions from people we encounter. We shouldn't be judged by our temperament. It's because of that, that people think I've never grown up. I still have silly dreams and impossible wishes but despite my quick temper (and I have no intrapersonal reason or desire to change that) and sensitivity to some things, there has to be something good from all of this. It's stressful to keep different face for different people. I should know this. If there wasn't so much that I have to hide, I would feel more free. It's the guilt of many things, the fear of change or punishment, the temptation of the forbidden fruit, and what the forbidden fruit even is are things some people can't know about because they would worry very very very much and possibly place unnecessary restraints on me if they did. This is enough for me to keep inside. So for everyone else I let them see who I am, when I have the opportunity.
I don't think that we should ever try to hide our emotional reactions to things. If someone who is talking to me brings up something that makes me emotional, it's too false an impression of yourself to pretend it doesn't affect you that way. When that sort of thing comes up, I think it's too stressful to force yourself to hold it in. Why not be open about it and let them know so they won't bring it up again and cause you even more stress? Or so that they are forewarned of your reaction to such things? To live a stress-free life I think that we cannot hide undesirable emotions from people we encounter. We shouldn't be judged by our temperament. It's because of that, that people think I've never grown up. I still have silly dreams and impossible wishes but despite my quick temper (and I have no intrapersonal reason or desire to change that) and sensitivity to some things, there has to be something good from all of this. It's stressful to keep different face for different people. I should know this. If there wasn't so much that I have to hide, I would feel more free. It's the guilt of many things, the fear of change or punishment, the temptation of the forbidden fruit, and what the forbidden fruit even is are things some people can't know about because they would worry very very very much and possibly place unnecessary restraints on me if they did. This is enough for me to keep inside. So for everyone else I let them see who I am, when I have the opportunity.
