Empathy for the ostracized

[kyrasantae]

Fate seems to make me a habit of befriending curiously interesting but socially maladjusted (or should I just say 'creepy'?) people -- or do they befriend me? Often there is a test of moral fiber in resisting the temptation of going along with what they do in order to understand their awkwardness. There is also often a lot of patience in putting up with that awkwardness and perhaps unreasonable or unwanted requests. I tend to take it all in silence, to resist through showing no response.

I want to believe that my presence is pacifying, that by being totally unfazed, they are unable to manipulate my feelings according to their whim, and I can slowly lead them to reform. When I use this against those generally reviled by the rest of the group, I'm told either I'm immensely patient or immensely foolish: Patient for putting up with things (only until I feel threatened personally); foolish for letting them demonstrate their character to me instead of accepting their notoriety.

But if this construction of stoniness is one of strength, there is a parallel construction of weakness, of victimhood. Silence is implicit acceptance of an imbalance of power; optimism and a (cautious) trust as naïve innocence. But I just want to be with them... to appreciate their talents and break the circle of ostracism.