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[kyrasantae]

Help :'(

I can't go on having terrible anxiety attacks every morning. Every day it's only a miracle that I still have the will to live by the end of it.

The teachers just say "you just gotta get up in front of the class and do it" but they don't know what I've been through, what I'm dealing with, and my perfectionist streak which I never entirely let go of (but shows now in a less visible manner).

~t.

--
Tie on tuskallinen ja vaarallinen, jos kuulla en ääntäsi saa
Tahdon silmäni sulkea, kanssasi kulkea, jäävät mun murheeni taa
--Jussi Hakulinen


I email Dr. Jahnukainen a lot ("The Artist in Exile" is also from such emails) and visit his office whenever I can. He's extremely friendly and genuinely interested in my experiences and insights. He also tells me a lot about what teacher training is like in Finland. But while I'm teaching at school, there's no way I'm on campus in the morning to see him. It makes me kind of sad, though, that he is moving back to Finland with his wife and kids this summer to resume his professorship at, where else, University of Jyväskylä. Ha!