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If you're not on Facebook, here's to let you know that I'm still alive.
I think that if I have to play a role in which I have to attend to other people's immediate needs as part of the job, the environment has to be one such that I never get too comfortable and get into "my zone". Because "my zone" is an isolationist and focused one, it takes time to get into, and it doesn't like to be disturbed.
If you, as the instructors, are just going to sit around at the front of the room doing other stuff on your computers, then I, as the assistant, am going to hover around the room and see what the kids are doing, take interest in their work and stuff like that, even though it's a computer camp and it's not like it needs direct supervision (unlike arts and crafts). Kids noticed this, and they came more often to ask me questions and ask for permissions from me, because I appeared more welcoming.
But you cut that off. You said it was unnecessary. You gave me an extra computer to fiddle around on, to be like you, to passively supervise (because, honestly, there's nothing else to do). But being on a computer (I was working on some translation stuff) is "my zone". Kids still came to ask me questions, but it felt more like pestering. I'm torn from my focus every few minutes, with questions I can't answer because I didn't make this camp up and I don't know what supplies they're allowed to touch right now as opposed to later, for example. So of course I'm grumpy. Short-tempered. No one in the room really wants to be doing their job. The kids did fine, though.
Maybe it's because they were the only male instructors I worked with (and one of them is a teacher, too?!), but I got the harshest criticism from them on the weekly evaluations. All of the other instructors I worked with appreciated that I got down to it and went hands-on helping kids. But not these guys. It's not like I don't see why behind the particular criticisms, it's just this feeling that... it's confirming those diplomatic weaknesses that some people like to say will guarantee I have a life "with no friends and no future". And it hurts because it reminds me of that. But I know those weaknesses don't always manifest -- just keep me out of "my zone".
But kids from the computer camp thanked me when they left on the last day. Usually they just thank the instructors, if at all. That was interesting.
I think that if I have to play a role in which I have to attend to other people's immediate needs as part of the job, the environment has to be one such that I never get too comfortable and get into "my zone". Because "my zone" is an isolationist and focused one, it takes time to get into, and it doesn't like to be disturbed.
If you, as the instructors, are just going to sit around at the front of the room doing other stuff on your computers, then I, as the assistant, am going to hover around the room and see what the kids are doing, take interest in their work and stuff like that, even though it's a computer camp and it's not like it needs direct supervision (unlike arts and crafts). Kids noticed this, and they came more often to ask me questions and ask for permissions from me, because I appeared more welcoming.
But you cut that off. You said it was unnecessary. You gave me an extra computer to fiddle around on, to be like you, to passively supervise (because, honestly, there's nothing else to do). But being on a computer (I was working on some translation stuff) is "my zone". Kids still came to ask me questions, but it felt more like pestering. I'm torn from my focus every few minutes, with questions I can't answer because I didn't make this camp up and I don't know what supplies they're allowed to touch right now as opposed to later, for example. So of course I'm grumpy. Short-tempered. No one in the room really wants to be doing their job. The kids did fine, though.
Maybe it's because they were the only male instructors I worked with (and one of them is a teacher, too?!), but I got the harshest criticism from them on the weekly evaluations. All of the other instructors I worked with appreciated that I got down to it and went hands-on helping kids. But not these guys. It's not like I don't see why behind the particular criticisms, it's just this feeling that... it's confirming those diplomatic weaknesses that some people like to say will guarantee I have a life "with no friends and no future". And it hurts because it reminds me of that. But I know those weaknesses don't always manifest -- just keep me out of "my zone".
But kids from the computer camp thanked me when they left on the last day. Usually they just thank the instructors, if at all. That was interesting.
