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Bugs. [journal]
Jul. 23rd, 2004 11:25 pmFirst I got lots of bug bites on my legs, then I started to feel funny in the head. With all of the public health poster campaign posters warning about dengue fever, I was naturally a little worried. Back home we'd worry about West Nile disease, but I think the chances of getting either are about the same.
Because we create what we see, we can just as easily destroy it.
So much have I lost faith in the people of the world, and unable to gain their trust, it is of no wonder that I have never learned to negotiate with them, only to fight; and because they have never learned from my words, learned only to hurt -- to give back the pain and the scars they gave me, but on their skin because they would never understand what I felt when they tormented me. Thus is a large part of what occupies my brain -- if I could use my powe, or ever come close to it, then maybe the confidence will come back. Nothing else has allowed me to be listened to and regarded as an equal or better, so maybe this is the only way, the final and ultimate solution to my invisibility: to establish a fearsome identity that won't go away and won't get caught, an elusive leader of the underground.
Because we create what we see, we can just as easily destroy it.
So much have I lost faith in the people of the world, and unable to gain their trust, it is of no wonder that I have never learned to negotiate with them, only to fight; and because they have never learned from my words, learned only to hurt -- to give back the pain and the scars they gave me, but on their skin because they would never understand what I felt when they tormented me. Thus is a large part of what occupies my brain -- if I could use my powe, or ever come close to it, then maybe the confidence will come back. Nothing else has allowed me to be listened to and regarded as an equal or better, so maybe this is the only way, the final and ultimate solution to my invisibility: to establish a fearsome identity that won't go away and won't get caught, an elusive leader of the underground.
