Je ne parle pas français. [spontané]

A message to the Faculté St. Jean at the University of Alberta:

Je ne parle pas français. Je parle anglais et chinois seulement.

Thank you for the letter on nice stationary and the generous offer of $1000 to study Engineering en français, but I don't speak a word of French. Fortunately, my sister could translate the letter for me, and that is how I found out what it was trying to say.